PMS is not what it used to be…

Gee I hope this tab is only read by women because I’m really not holding back on this topic!

Not that I care if men read it or not, maybe they should as a ‘warning’ of how they should behave around us women suffering from “PAINFUL MENTAL STATE”. Well that’s a new twist for PMS. Besides these posts automatically find their way on my facebook page, talk about self-promoting. So what do I want to share here? Hmm, perhaps it’s the fact that PMS really should be identified as an illness and employers should allow female employees time off for the safety of their fellow workers as well as for their safety.

Ever wonder why every action, word, gesture or smile tends to make you want to rip someone’s head off when all you want to do is hide in a cave until you’re normal again? Do they not see the venom in our stare or the way your veins begin to throb on your forehead or neck with every word or request they throw at you. To think they would get the hint when you don’t laugh at their jokes and your eyes rollover backwards and inwards while your stomach is twisting up painfully as if Jacques Cousteau were tying up  your intestines into a double fisherman’s knot? Ladies at times like these I find it appropriate to define PMS:

 – Packing Mates Stuff = sending him away for his own good since even his breathing causes you stress

– Please move slowly = any sudden movement towards us comes across as a sign of attack

– Pills, Morphine, Sedation = what we prefer instead of listening to what a great weekend you had

– Pre-Meditated Stabbing = an accidental action because you didn’t want gravy on your mashed potatoes

– Poor Man Slapped = for telling us that dress fit too tight (poor, poor man…slapped with a frying pan…it’s called bloating!)

-Pardon My Silence = do not question our silent treatment for this is the time when we tell you how we really feel about you

As if we don’t go through enough pain in our every day life what with planning dinners every day of the freaking week, dreading to wear our ‘fat pants’ with the elastic waistbands, wanting everyone to take a number if they wish to speak to us. All in all, we have to get credit for our strengths because I really can’t imagine any man going through this unnecessary suffering we must endure. Heck, men can’t handle a paper cut! Could you imagine them with the bloating, cramping, moodiness and everything else we deal with? Nah, I didn’t think so.


2 thoughts on “PMS is not what it used to be…”

  1. Hillarious! This couldn’t have come at a better time!!!! I spent most of yesterday trying not to rip the heads off of everybody I love. I can’t wait to read more of your writing. You just went into my favorites!

    • Thank you! Glad to be included in your favorite and thank you for visiting my blog..LOL, I feel bad when I get into the “male-hate-mode”, my poor men!

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