Oh Deer !!

Sometimes life can resemble a comedy show. We have these pine or fir trees or whatever they are called in our backyard which separates our property from one of our neighbors, which works out fine as far as privacy is concerned. The problem we’re having is those darn deers keep feasting on these trees and they’re now looking like cotton candy. You know, the top is full and overgrown while the bottom of the trees are eaten down to the branches by Bambi and family. So I was smart enough to buy some spray at Home Depot which smells like rotted corpse and it has been helping except it smells so nauseating that I rarely go out there to spray the perimeter to keep Mr. Deer and family away.

Well, all this nature crap really gets to the point when seeing a deer in my backyard is no longer awe-inspiring or a ‘run and get the camera’ moment. Those bastards have done such a number on the trees that now Mr. Eve has gone on ‘Deer Patrol’. One night last week, he spotted one brave enough to begin feasting and ignore Mr. Eve’s orders of leaving. He’s yelling at this deer through the patio door telling it to get away as if this four-legged tree eating beast understood the english language. The deer continued to chomp away and now Mr. Eve heads out, approaches the deer (now you have man and beast in a stare down) the deer is looking at Mr. Eve like he’s a mad man with his yelling and I’m like “What are you doing? Are you crazy? that deer is going to charge at you!” Mr. Eve flaps his arms up in the air and continues yelling ‘get away from the trees!’, I’m laughing because he looks silly (and stupid) as the deer gives up and runs away.

Mr. Eve comes back in and confesses, “I thought that deer was going to come right at me.” Ahh, you’d think!? So now a few days later we’re having dinner with the patio doors open and the birds are chirping (noisy critters annoy the heck out of me), there’s a nice breeze coming through the open door then I see it’s dinner time for the Daring Deer. So I’m trying to chew and talk at the same time and Mr. Eve is looking at me like I’m crazy (nothing new here) and I’m pointing like an idiot out the door and when he spots the deer he jumps up begins yelling ‘get away!’ as the deer ignores him and continues to approach our almost bare to the branches tree. This part is funny: as Mr. Eve yells and demands the beast to leave our property, it continues to get closer to the tree and even gets to take a bite. Angry and the audacity of the Daring Deer, Mr. Eve takes one of the plastic chairs, with cushion and all, heads towards the deer like a lion tamer and begins yelling with the chair in front of him, “get out of here!”  I am laughing my butt off at the sight of this man with a chair approaching the deer while I’m sure our neighbor watched as well. He did manage to scare off the deer to the neighbor’s yard where it proceeded to begin eating her bushes.

I do hate having these uninvited guests feasting on our trees and bushes but thankfully I have my valiant chair wielding Mr. Eve to save the day.

Life is good,

Eve

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