Dental Drama

Is it me or do dental hygienist always ask you questions when your entire face is numb from the Novocaine they injected in your mouth and you feel like Rocky Balboa after 20 rounds with Apollo Creed? I feel bad when I’m asked a question and I have that suction thingy rammed down my throat, my tongue feels like it weighs a ton, the drool is most likely running down my cheek on my new silk blouse because that apron napkin thingy is the size of a toilet tissue square and at the same time I’m trying to look semi attractive in case there’s a hidden camera somewhere in the office.

Don’t get me wrong, I know they’re trying to make us feel comfortable and at ease by making conversation but do they realize we can’t form any clear words with a swollen tongue and when we do try, we sound like Elmer Fudd after a few cocktails?  The worse part is when you are done, you head to the store or wherever you need to be and you keep wiping at your mouth because you feel the drool running down your chin, that’s not really there, or is it?

And why the heck does it take so long for the Novocaine to wear off  and when it does, you find you destroyed the inside of your cheek because you didn’t even notice you were chewing part of it when you had to have that plate of food you said you wouldn’t eat because you didn’t want to get your teeth dirty?

Do dentist and dental hygienist have their own dentists? Do they have like a secret club where they get their teeth done, pain-free? Do they hate brushing and flossing even though they keep stressing to us it MUST BE DONE OR ELSE YOU WILL LOSE ALL YOUR TEETH?

I am still trying to figure out why I get so stressed, anxious and bent out of shape even for a routine cleaning. Was I traumatized during my childhood by some crazy dentist? Why do I prefer Crest over Colgate…what the hell is the difference anyways?

What was my point during all this? I guess I will chalk this down to ‘random thoughts’.

Life is good!

Eve

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6 thoughts on “Dental Drama”

  1. Just this week, I was in that exact position of being asked a question in the dental office with my mouth gaped wide open from their tools. I’m like, do you really expect an answer? Are you serious? Do you not get that these gadgets in my mouth prohibits anything beyond a yes or no question? You’d think they knew the secrets to exchanging dialogue in this situation since this is usually when the most questions are asked. Lord help me, I’ve got another visit or two to go.

    • Why do they do that? LOL, and the questions aren’t usually a yes or no question. Hmmm, I’m going to ask the next time I’m in the torture chair…before I get tied up, numbed, novacained and all.

  2. Eve, I read this post and shook my head to signal, “Ahuh!” I recently wrote a post about my nightmarish visit to the dentist. I’m still trying to recover from the post traumatic stress it induced! And I agree–the paper bib is the size of a toilet tissue square! 🙂

    • LOL, I must read yours! thanks for your comments and for paying my blog a visit. I get anxiety attacks a week before my dental visits…and that’s for a cleaning!

  3. Well, I’m a Colgate chick!!!
    Dentists scare me… Don’t know why, maybe it’s the crazy sounds of all their little tools or maybe is the dentists being so close to your face and being able to see all your pores… lol
    I guess we’ll never know.

    • OMG, I hope you’re not my only visitor using different names and links….thanks for all the comments and for reading most of my blog…you go girl!

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