Is it me or do dental hygienist always ask you questions when your entire face is numb from the Novocaine they injected in your mouth and you feel like Rocky Balboa after 20 rounds with Apollo Creed? I feel bad when I’m asked a question and I have that suction thingy rammed down my throat, my tongue feels like it weighs a ton, the drool is most likely running down my cheek on my new silk blouse because that apron napkin thingy is the size of a toilet tissue square and at the same time I’m trying to look semi attractive in case there’s a hidden camera somewhere in the office.
Don’t get me wrong, I know they’re trying to make us feel comfortable and at ease by making conversation but do they realize we can’t form any clear words with a swollen tongue and when we do try, we sound like Elmer Fudd after a few cocktails? The worse part is when you are done, you head to the store or wherever you need to be and you keep wiping at your mouth because you feel the drool running down your chin, that’s not really there, or is it?
And why the heck does it take so long for the Novocaine to wear off and when it does, you find you destroyed the inside of your cheek because you didn’t even notice you were chewing part of it when you had to have that plate of food you said you wouldn’t eat because you didn’t want to get your teeth dirty?
Do dentist and dental hygienist have their own dentists? Do they have like a secret club where they get their teeth done, pain-free? Do they hate brushing and flossing even though they keep stressing to us it MUST BE DONE OR ELSE YOU WILL LOSE ALL YOUR TEETH?
I am still trying to figure out why I get so stressed, anxious and bent out of shape even for a routine cleaning. Was I traumatized during my childhood by some crazy dentist? Why do I prefer Crest over Colgate…what the hell is the difference anyways?
What was my point during all this? I guess I will chalk this down to ‘random thoughts’.
Life is good!