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Overweight. Too fat. Not skinny enough. Jiggle in the middle. Where’s my SPANDEX undies!???

Amazing how after we become a certain age the weight seems to want to bond with you and hangs around (literally!!) not caring that you hate the fact you need to wear ‘fat pants’ to accommodate the extra pounds. Have we become so vain we cringe at the slightest pound the scale points out? Why does it feel like no matter how much you exercise, or how little you eat, the weight still seems to be the same?

The worse is hearing it from your primary care physician and it becomes like doomsday! “That’s part of middle age and menopause. You won’t be losing that weight any time soon. I recommend you exercise, change your diet and walk. Walking is the best exercise to losing weight.” Ah, hello Dr. Doom, didn’t I mention I participate in the Avon39 walk and have done it for the past two years? Shouldn’t I have lost at least ten or twenty pounds during my 2-days of walking? What do you mean I won’t be losing this weight? Can you say surgery?? Middle-age my ass. It’s those damn glasses of wine and garlic plantain chips and stupid Magnum ice cream bars! Did I mention my Mom is spending a week with us and now I’m being forced to eat every Puerto Rican dish I can’t cook myself? Not that I’m complaining..dishes from the mother land are absofuckinglutely AMAZING!

I guess I’ll have to bond with the extra inches and pounds since as my sister keeps telling me…”Who cares if you gained weight. We’re not teenagers anymore. Accept the fact that we’re old!”….Bitchass!

Life is good…with or without the extra inches!