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Many of us writers go through the grueling process of searching for an agent to represent our work. Why? Well for starters, if we’re not well-known or possess celebrity status, agents won’t beat down our doors or call us at home begging to represent us. No, we must research hours on end on how to solicit an agent, how to write the perfect query letter, how to ‘beg’ to be represented because sending our work directly to a publishing house will not work.

I’m sure many of us have found the perfect publisher or editor but get dissapointed when we read the fine print..”unsolicited manuscripts or unagented materials will not be reviewed”. What? What if WE were the ones to scout or interview the agents who we wish to represent us?

Well, for all us writers out there still trying to get our OWN agents based on our writing and not on our celebrity status…here’s an AD I’ve created on how it should really work:

AGENT WANTED!
Only apply if you possess the following qualities:
– Open to accept new and upcoming authors
– Have a keen eye for new material
– Are not afraid to represent authors with various rejection letters
– Have no fear of representing NON-celebrity authors
– Are able to fight for the story even if you feel it’s NOT that great but your author insists it is
– Will fight for your client even though the editor insists the story sucks
– Will leave your job and work out of your garage because you believe in your client and the story when the editor said “hell no!”
– Are willing to pay for all business lunch meetings and travel arrangements even if only meeting around the corner at the hot dog stand

Why you should represent this new author:
– Because her sister and her best friend’s cousin loved the story and said it was AMAZING
– Because you will definitely have fun arguing about why the story needs to be re-written
– Eventually she will write a bestseller and make you lots of money
– No need to worry about Diva-like demands since she is NOT a celebrity
– She may agree to all your demands if there’s a promise to have the book published
– You never received a query letter on the back of a Shoprite receipt (the client felt the need to write it as she waited on line to pay for her groceries during Memorial weekend when the market was packed like hell)
– Where else would you find a client who answers her own phone?
– Because she BELIEVES in you!

Ahh, imagine if it were that easy….Life is good any way you write it!

Eve

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