, , ,

As the last of the mourners and well wishers leave Selena’s house, Kyle closes the door and walks towards the kitchen. Looking through the patio doors, his heart aches for the woman who is staring blindly into the warm water of the kidney-shaped pool and he is not sure if he should approach her. As her shoulders shake while she cries, he wants to go to her but he holds back and lets her have this moment to mourn the man she married, the man she loved, the man who won her heart.

Dare he go to her and wrap his strong arms around her shoulders during her time of grief? Should he yet again be the rock for her as he has been all those years during their friendship? Confused by the mixed emotions and not knowing if this is the right time to express how he feels, Kyle does what he does best and waits until Selena is ready to lean on him as she’s done in the past.

The sky is now darkening and Selena has not come back into the house. With the food put away, dishes cleared and foldable chairs leaning against the wall, Kyle lets out a long breath and goes out the door to seek his friend.

“Selena, you should come inside now it’s getting cold.” No response. “Hey, I can make you a cup of tea if you’d like before I leave.” Not a word.

What now? What should he do? He walks closer and just as he’s about to touch her shoulders Selena’s painful voice says, “He told me he would love me forever. He said I was his world and he would never leave me.”

Kyle didn’t know what to say to her. Actually, he didn’t have to say a thing for she continued in a whispered painful tone, “Why did he have to die Kyle? Why did he have to get sick?” as she turned to him, Kyle didn’t know how he managed not to pull her into his arms the moment he saw the raw pain in her eyes. The tears streaming down her pale cheeks made his heart ache even more for this woman who he has loved since the day he first met her as a five or six year-old.

“I don’t Selena,” he said as she stared at him as if waiting for the answer that would take away her pain.
“He really liked you, you know? He used to joke about our friendship and said that if he didn’t trust you, he wouldn’t want you around me. He always said you were a good man and that I was a very lucky woman to have two men who cared so much about me.”

Kyle’s throat constricted and he prayed he would keep his emotions in tact and not betray himself since this was not the time to be selfish.

“Come inside Selena, it’s getting a bit chilly out here.” She finally went inside the house and slowly walked into the now empty living room. Sitting on the couch, she stared into space crying uncontrollably, “What am I going to do now Kyle? I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle losing him.”
“Yes, you can. You’re way stronger than you think Selena, besides; I will be here for you.”
“Can you stay tonight? I don’t want to be in the house alone, I can’t bear the thought of waking up alone and not having anyone to talk to.”
“I will stay as long as you like, I promise.”

Selena sleeps peacefully after Kyle convinced her to take a sleeping pill. He knew she would have been up all night if she didn’t take the pill. Feeling strange sitting in the chair in the bedroom she shared with her husband, Kyle tries to no avail to fall asleep. He knew he would be up all night but didn’t mind. As long as Selena rested, he was happy. Kyle knew tomorrow promised to be an even harder day for her when she woke up to find her love gone and knowing she had to begin going through personal papers and getting everything in order now that he was gone.