Well since I’ve been on a blog hiatus for the past few weeks I decided to start with my usual anti-holiday rant. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the holidays or Christmas or whatever politically correct term is being used today…I’m so used to saying “enjoy your holiday” I no longer know what holiday I’m telling people to enjoy. Do I say Happy Hanukkah, or Happy Kwanza, or dare I say Merry Christmas or even Feliz Navidad? What the hell, it’s too stressful trying to be politically correct and not offend anyone nowadays.
You know I have to get on my high horse on why I am so against Christmas. So let me start before I begin nodding off since it’s Friday and past 10:00pm which sadly is the time I begin yawning and looking for my blanky. Christmas is supposed to be some holiday about the birth of Christ or something like that so why does half the world begin to stress and panic because they must get presents for everyone and their mothers, they need to have dinner with a gazillion family members, they need to put those stupid lights and over decorate their homes (yeah Mr. Eve and I have been arguing because I refuse to raise my electric bill by putting stupid lights outside). What the hell does decorating the outside of your home with lights have to do with Christmas? And why do we need to put up stupid lighted reindeer and snowmen and compete with the guy next door who decorates the day before Thanksgiving?
I hate crowds, shopping for gifts which will not be appreciated and waiting on line for 45 minutes to pay for a pair of socks and underwear, which I need and are NOT a Christmas present? I’m still trying to figure out why some parents are shopping for toys and kids clothes and they have their kids with them? What am I missing there? Hmm, don’t get me started on the Christmas music…humbug! If I could ban the song “jingle bells” from being played I would. I also would ban those annoying Salvation Army Santa who need to stop ringing that stupid bell which annoys the heck out of me when I’m trying to figure out how to get the car keys out of my pocket, juggle my purse and four shopping bags while he looks at me begging for change. Mr. Santa, everyone uses debit cards today, we do not carry cash. Get a life.
So now I sound like a real Scrooge, I’m sure most of you feel the same way and I suggest you embrace your feelings since you are not alone. Yes, I will contribute to the thieving stores and buy presents which will not be used, wrap them in my seven-year-old wrapping paper and wish for December to quickly pass us by.
And all that jazz that comes with the December celebrations!
Life is good,