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At the risk of losing what little followers I think I have on my blog, I can’t believe I am writing about 9/11 when I convinced myself I would not.

Why do I avoid watching all the news specials, read the newspaper articles and skip over the teary commercials reminding us “never to forget”?

Because I was in New York when it happened, I worked there and I had the displeasure of waiting around for direction as to whether we could leave our building or not. Because while my coworkers and friends were frantically calling their loved ones and trying to reach those who worked in the Trade Center I too was trying to reach my brother, sister, Mom or anyone who could update me on my loved ones. Luckily  Mr. Eve worked in Jersey at the time and I didn’t have to worry about how to get home to pick up my boys from school and daycare. Because I was scared and in shock about hearing how terrorists attacked us and killed so many people who were just going through their day like any other. Because when we finally were allowed to leave our building I was afraid riding the elevator from the fourteenth floor and didn’t know what to expect or how to get home.  Because I still see it clearly in my mind how as I walked towards Madison and 46th Street I looked to my left and saw a sea of people walking covered in dust, dirt, blood and with blank looks on their faces, which I’m sure was shock and disbelief. These are the only few reasons I wish to share as to why I avoid reliving what I saw first hand.  Never forget? Unless I get hit over the head thereby causing me temporary or permanent amnesia, I will NEVER forget. Do I need television, radio, newspapers or flyers to remind me? I think not!

The reminders will always be with me when I remember my coworker, friend and neighbor who lost a husband, brother or family member. I will remember when my brother recalls the horror while he was in the center of it all as he watched bodies falling out of windows. I will also remember when we thought he was lost to us and didn’t find out until the next day that he was ok.   I will also remember when my colleague and friend had to have a memorial for her husband and then suffer a second time when his remains were recovered.  Never forget? I think NOT.

Admitting my guilt and trying to deal with this tragedy my own way works for me since watching it over and over again will only open the wounds caused on that day ten years ago by those who have no regard for human life. So if I offend or hurt or annoy those who are suffering more than I, the only thing I can say is, “I’m sorry that I don’t feel watching all the media focus on this tragedy will help me since we all deal with loss, pain and memories in different ways. But I do wish to tell you that I know you will never forget because every day we hear and see how those who hurt us ten years ago, wish to continue doing so. Forgetting is not an option, dealing with the pain and memories and how we do it is what will make us stronger in remembering those we lost.”

Ten years is a long time and yet it still seems to me like it was a few years ago. Never forget…this is not an option.

Life continues to be good even among tragedies…My thoughts and prayers have always been with the family members of those we lost.