Dealing with the loss of a loved one is not only overwhelming and depressing it really takes its toll on you and drains you of your energy. As a parent I found myself yet again unable to say the right words that would console my teenage son when he lost a very good friend. When he asked me why did he have to die so young, I couldn’t say the right words to make him feel better. When he said he couldn’t believe he wouldn’t see his friend again my heart broke yet again since hearing the news of his passing.
As parents we cry when our children are hurt, we hurt when we can’t fix a broken bone or wish away the need for surgery and our hearts break not only when we can’t help them out of a difficult bind, it also breaks when they tell us they hate us when we don’t give in to their desires.
I cried today as a mother for the parents of the young life that was lost too soon and so unexpectedly. I cried at bed at nights dreading the journey we had to do to say our final goodbyes. I cried in the shower for the past few days thinking of the pain the parents and siblings are going through knowing their beloved son and brother would not be there ever again. I cried for my son because I still didn’t have the right words that would make him feel that things will be alright even when his heart is breaking at the loss of the friend he was with only a day before his passing.
There is no magic word to make things better when our children begin dealing with grown up issues such as death. I only hope every hug, kiss and “I love you” I keep repeating will make his pain easier to deal with.
Since death does not discriminate and it takes our young, old, unborn and healthy, all we can do is be as strong as we can to deal with the pain and loss and hope we can be as strong as we need to be for our loved ones and those mourning a loss.
May everyone who has recently lost a loved one find the strength to deal with their loss and remember the good memories that will help you keep them in your hearts forever. There are no words that will help the ache in your hearts or the anger in your life for losing those you love. I only hope eventually you can focus on all the happy memories you shared with them and when the pain eases a little it will help to make life a little less painful for you.
Our loved ones will always be with us!