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No I am not writing the lyrics to Britney Spears’ song nor am I trying to memorize the song for my karaoke debut. I am referring to my latest kitchen drama since if you recall I had an incident going on with potatoes I thought I was going to bake but ended up mashing (go check out the post titled “Did I get carried away” if you are curious).

So what happened in the kitchen now? I know one thing Rachel Ray will need rehab if she decides to pay me and my cooking skills a visit. I really hate to do this but I have to blame my mother for my kitchen dilemmas, if I weren’t trying to get back to my Latina roots by trying to cook with fresh ingredients (as opposed to frozen) none of these things would happen to me.  Ok, ok you’re wondering when I will get to it..here goes:

I am so excited to make a whole fresh-baked chicken (there’s that word bake again! I threw in the word fresh but it was frozen by the way) and after washing it and cringing as I pull that nasty bag full of organs out of the carcass’ innards I begin to gather my ingredients of salt, pepper, Sazon Goya (every Latina HAS to use Sazon Goya..it’s part of the four food groups in Puerto Rico) so there I am with all my ammunition and then I realized I had fresh…yes fresh! garlic in the pantry and I get my garlic press out, take the garlic out of the pantry and set it aside. Now I’m massaging this carcass with butter and salt etc. etc.and then I move on to peel the garlic. WTF! The cloves ( I think that’s what they are called) were freaking rooting! Yes rooting as in ‘plant me in your back yard rooting’, not rooting as in cheering me on. Now how the hell did this happen to me again? First those damn potatoes began sprouting roots, now my garlic? I believe it’s a conspiracy.

What to do I asked myself. Well peel away I did, pull out the roots and begin to salvage what I can. Talk about losing the momentum while I’m peeling and plucking and salvaging, my thirteen-year old son usually likes to help me with the garlic crushing process but when he took a look at the garlic he was like “what is that? are you using your plants again to cook? (I have an oregano plant and often use it in my beans in case you’re wondering again…) I explain what happened about the roots etc etc and he tells me it’s gross and leaves me stranded to continue my task of salvaging a few cloves. The end result was this: I had enough garlic pieces to make the carcass taste and smell yummy and I even had a bonus…now I have a few garlic plants growing which I keep right on my kitchen window….I guess Charlie Sheen was right….I was ‘winning’ in this race!

Hmmm..I wonder what else is in that pantry growing roots.